It Runs in the Family

I guess if you're born into my family, be it human or feline, you're prone to chronic illness. It's like life; it's a slow process. I hope for something terminal and quick, not chronic and slow. So naturally I have undiagnosed Parkinson's. My cat, Bruno, is in a similar predicament; he has been sick since the day he arrived in my home, His most recent diagnosis is IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). There's no cure for Parkinson's or IBS, so my cat and I get to be miserable together, managing our incurable, chronic conditions. Why can't we both get cancer and get this thing called life over with? 

The treatment for Parkinson's is dopamine. I'm not allowed to get dopamine until I wean off of my anti-depressant which causes Parkinson's symptoms. I hardly think so. I can't wait until they prescribe dopamine for me, so I can then experience the symptoms of dopamine. 

IBS is treated with steroids; Bruno, who is gorgeous, will become fat thanks to the medications that will save his so-called life. He will become obese, as in gluttonous, and psychotic, as in mentally ill. 

I'm selfish. I wanted a pet to love ... and to be lovable. Steroids do not make animals lovable. They make them  comprehensively preoccupied; always chomping down food, side-eying humans. 

I can relate to Bruno. I, too, am an overeater (only without the steroids as an excuse). My solution was (and is) FAA - Food Addicts Anonymous. It has worked. I'm no longer fat. Just mentally ill. The feline variety.

There's no FAA for cats and no antidote for steroids, alas. Bruno is screwed.

Call me superficial. I don't necessarily want a morbidly obese, mentally ill cat. 

That said, perhaps Bruno and I are meant to be together -- especially since what we share seems to run in the family.