No Failing Allowed

                                                            Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

As a kid, I wasn’t allowed to step foot in my mother's kitchen to make a sandwich. She thought I would do it—and everything else—wrong. She wasn't wrong.

When I tried to stretch, try something new, she would intervene. It was more expedient for her to do everything herself. She didn't want to be disappointed in me, so she didn't give me the opportunity to disappoint her. 

Children learn to be competent, over time, by making mistakes. The more mistakes, the more opportunities to develop resilience. From the jump, I didn't have a realistic shot. Some would regard my mother as a "snowplow" parent, clearing my path of obstacles, ensuring I wouldn't screw up, as I navigated childhood and adolescence. But that would be inaccurate. She outsourced most typical parenting duties.

I'm no expert, but in my experience being a semi-ignored and often-underestimated child turned me into an incompetent adult governed by the "F" word: fear. 

No wonder I failed epically as soon as I got out from under her roof, far away from that kitchen.